jia-tv.com |...the business...|

Men! ARGH!

2008-05-15T20:01:14Z

First off, I want to start this entry by saying....some...SOME....men never cease to amaze me.

I am single right now. I won't say HAPPILY single but I am. As is life...you can't rush a relationship. You have to let go and let God...I TRULY believe that. Just b/c I wouldn't MIND being involved doesn't mean that I'm just going to accept ANYTHING that's handed to me.

With that being said, I'm single..and SOME men make me very happy that I am that way for now. It's amazing how many men are willing to step to the left on their girlfriends or wives. The very same ones that sit up and talk about OTHER dudes and what they do in the dark are the very ones doing that same shit and usually without any remorse. I just dont get it. If you don't want to be involved, then dont get involved with anyone. And if you're too greedy to remain faithful, at least tell the girl that instead of holding on to the big secret that you're involved. And some of these dudes are ones that I was working on 'something' with...and for one reason or another, it never worked out. Thank GOD b/c you'd probably be running behind my back trying to fuck every broad that gives good head. SMH

Another thing I want to complain about regarding the men folk....dont sit in my face every chance you get and continuously tell me that you're 'sorry' for something you claim to have never done but now that you have a new chick in your life and speak candidly with me of your exploits OR ask me to 'exploit' with you, you expect me to believe that you didnt do the same shit with me. Im sorry but the bullshit saying "Well maybe you were special" is a cop out and a damn lie. I aint special if she aint. If you're willing to (or have) cheated on your new chick, then there is a STRONG ass possibility that you cheated on me when we were together too.

I swear...people, in case you dont know...HIV/AIDS is real. You might think you're invincible, you may think that you just cant get that monster..but you're wrong. There are people around you everyday who have the disease and you know nothing of it. Basically Im saying that the world is just too filthy to be trying to have more than your fair share. Sex is great...trust me, I love it. But I dont love it enough to ever help anyone cheat on their significant other, especially if you and I were once together (or working at it) and I know how she may feel.

Not a good look

Easy For YOU to Say

2008-05-15T20:00:54Z

Alright here we go....

Classes officially started on the 13th (Tuesday..odd, I know). I have been reading a lil..probably not as much as I should and I have an assignment thats due by 5pm on the 16th (Friday).

Well, I went online today to check the forum for my Criminology class and it said "You are not registered for this course."

Panic IMMEDIATELY rushed over me and I could not even think of what it was that I wanted to post on the damn forum.

I broke out in a sweat, hands got clammy and I got nervous. It was so bad, I had to turn my cell phone off for a minute to ensure that NO ONE interrupted my "moment" of what the hell-ness.

This is the very thing that screwed me over when I was in school before...I would sit in class worrying about things that really had NO baring on the lesson at hand. It had nothing to do with the professor, my classmates, notes, books...nothing. I had a hard time separating the "it didnt matter" world from the "pay attention right now b/c you need this" world. What gives? I literally freak the hell out yall.

So this is why Im coming to you....what do you do to handle stress? Please do not suggest smoking weed (as my homeboy suggested lol) or alcohol. People always say meditate but Im afraid that even in THAT state, most of my "oooms" would be focusing on my problems, rather than relaxation! Everyone always says "Just relax...and everything will be ok." Read the title of this blog lol

Im very nervous about this and dont want to take this sort of energy into the fall semester. Its suppose to be a new beginning and I dont want to blow that for anything.

If you have suggestions, feel free to post them here or email me at jia@jia-tv.com.

Thank you

Another Letter to Usher

2008-05-12T22:49:38Z

Dear Usher....

So I just got finished watching my FAVORITE show ever....The Hills.

I was sorely disappointed at how the show ended..but figured that the previews for the new season (starting August 18th) and YOUR performance could make up for it.

Lets just say that the former made me smile more than the latter.

Usher, you fucking suck

What the hell is wrong with you? You take a damn 4 year + long break, get married, have a damn kid...and you come back half assing like your first name is Michael and your last name is Jackson?

You see...only people like Michael, Prince or hell even Elton John...can go away for that long and come back and half ass on a performance.

YOU, on the other hand, have not earned that privilege.

Now listen..I love your ass. God knows I do...but if I see you do one more wack ass performance, looking like you're just PRACTICING instead of going full throttle, I swear Im gonna pull a Mariah Carey, "hunt you down," and post that shit on Youtube.....

You cant be half ass dancing Ush...looking like you were just released from a damn geriatric facility and think that you're pleasing the crowd. Hell, MY thick ass can get on stage and do that...is that all you have to do these days to earn a million is get on stage and be a slacker?? If that's all it takes...SIGN MY BLACK ASS UP, ASAP!

And before you call it hating, please note...Ive been following your career since you were a little boy with barely enough pubes to spell out the first two letters of your name....Ive faithfully bought ALL of your albums, NEVER burned one and always big you up when folks get to dissing. In the video, you slacked...and in this live performance, you slacked even harder. Hell naw..I want a damn refund. And I didnt even PAY to see your ass!

But you're making me look like an ass with those half ass dance moves, coming on stage, half lip syncing, half singing over the track but CRACKING ever other word. WTF?

Usher you better get it together...or else you're gonna have to change the name of that album from HERE I STAND....to SITCHO ASS DOWN!

Shit....

Love,

Jia

Randomly "Me"

2008-05-10T20:51:23Z

I had no clue that if I eliminated sodas that were CAFFEINE free that I'd still have headaches. What gives? I only drank Sprite mixed with a BIT of fruit punch..occasionally dabbling in the Dr. Pepper. My head has been hurting all week. I BET if I took a swig right NOW, I'd be feeling 100% better!

I love listening to new music. I love almost all genres. Clara Morgane is my new shit...dance music in French? JESUS, take the wheel!

Monday...I hate Mondays...and Monday starts my classes. Yikes! Am I ready for all this? I wonder...Nah, I wont say that I wonder. Success is the sweetest revenge and it feels good to make ground (even if on a small scale) while the naysayers sit in the background, pretending to be unaffected. Amazing *damn my head hurts*

It seems that this blog has taken somewhat of the same turn as my previous blog did. I had another site in about 2005 that I blogged on..my own dot com. And every so often, people (be they regulars in my life or just associates) would often email, IM, call or whatever...and ask ....TELL me that Im talking about them. As Ive said several times over...Im moving into a different direction in my life. Im not going to respond to negativity, bashing, hateful thoughts or comments b/c there is no need. Id much rather let things go, instead of being confrontational...rather than landing my ass in Dekalb, Fulton or Cobb county jail, Id rather slowly eliminate things from my life. Believe it or not, thats just the new "me" now. Things havent unraveled themselves perfectly yet but I am getting there. Most DEFINITELY. But just as the "preamble" to the previous blog stated...if you have to ask me if it is about you, you're asking the wrong person questions. Ask yourself what you may (or may not ) have done to warrant a blog about you. If you can truthfully answer "Absolutely Nothing," then why bother asking me is the blog about you? And further..is it ever that serious? I digress. Like I said, Im at a happy point in my life where even the most retarded shit makes me smile these days...I dont know where it came from or why it's here. But Im loving it....and hopefully I'll carry this same momentum with me when I head back to North Carolina.

UGH speaking of which..its funny how when you're about to leave your current location..and you start finding little things that you LOVE or wonder if you could do without once you're gone. Ive always loved Atlanta..ever since the first time I visited at 14/15 years old. And I now live here and wouldnt dream of having it any other way. Ive always said that IF something called for me to go, Id do so...gladly. But now Ive found some things that I just...wonder if I could do without once Im in NC? Grr I guess I have to. No biggie...as is life! There will always be FRANKLIN STREET! Woot woot!

I swear I work with some of the coolest damn people on the BLOCK! I have NEVER EVER had a job where I got along with almost everybody and felt "cool" with each person. We just have a certain dynamic thats off the chain and it makes the time go by much quicker. I guess thats how I am able to work 12 hour days (knowing good and hell well Im suppose to be off at 5pm daily LOL).

After experiencing fruit at Publix and the Farmers Market, I will never EVER buy fruit from Kroger again. NEVER!

I swear I love my parents...a LOT! They are the shit. I swear, for a while, I just KNEW we'd always bump heads but I tell you...those two people right there...they LOVE them some ME...no matter what! And they're so supportive! I cant wait to take care of them!

Ok...I sold a couch today. I really think Im going to sell everything (including the big screen *sigh*) so I wont have a lot to transport with me back home. I dunno..its still in the air. When you love your stuff, you just love it. Cancel that...Im keeping the big screen LMAO!

Dang this week is nothing BUT season finales...Flavor of Love (guilty pleasure)....The Hills....Top Model! Yowza. I cant take it. Tila Tequila sucks...she sho' dont be likin' da negros. She eliminates all of them EVERY damn chance she can get. Oh well...I happen to think she's somewhat funny looking any way.

I cant believe that June 24th is right around the corner...and Im going to be 28! Wow...I remember when I was like 15..and thought my mom was old for being in her 30s. LOL! Oooh J, you're getting OLD mama!

The dude with the dreads on Real World Hollywood is fine as hell. I mean...SUPER fine! I mean..damn does he have a MYSPACE page type fine. Like DAMN I would stalk him and catch a charge type fine! Believe me....

I guess thats all the rambling Im going to do for now! Love you guys and have a safe and happy Sunday!

T.I.

2008-05-09T23:23:28Z

Nothing to see here...just posting it for my own viewing later on....

Uncut Scene from Monster's Ball

2008-05-04T16:37:27Z

Wow is all I can say.....

I guess you have to do whatchu have to do to win that gold man.....

Again folks...this is NOT work safe. It IS porn! Do not email me, message me, IM me or anything "ME" asking why didnt I warn you.

I gave you a warning...several times over. If you click THIS LINK, its obviously b/c you WANTED to see it.

Now, go back on Youtube and post your thoughts.

PS: Before ANYBODY DARES to come at me on some "are you condemning her for doing porn" bullshit, please let it be noted....with a notarized stamp of "uh huh" that I am not condemning her for HER choices....Im taking a stab at the "powers that be" who awarded her for being a white man's sexual thing....just to get a gold man.

Not cool

Again, click HERE.

Did Somebody Say "Hater?"

2008-04-30T22:02:41Z

I usually do not use the word 'hater,' b/c I feel that its overused. But hell, if you have them, you just have them.

And this entry is not talking about anybody online...people like "that" dont bother me. When Im referencing a 'hater,' its someone who exists in my real, every day, I-know-their-number, they-know-mine type stuff.

I wont make this long b/c its no need. I talked to someone I hadnt talked to in a while a couple days ago..and she told me to NEVER spend more time than what YOU feel is necessary 'venting.'

But there is one particular person...ONE person who I feel just is not happy with my changes. Anytime Ive shared with her something new and positive that Im doing or something thats going on in my life that doesnt involve drama, she picks it apart. And now that I think back on a couple of other conversations that she and I had, she truly wasnt that supportive of much of anything. As long as you're worse off than SHE is, she's content.

Never again...as the author of this write up says, haters dont want to see you prosper...they always want to see you in a low position, never trying...never hoping...not giving a damn. And when things are bad, theyre the first ones there hollering some "I feel you," but when things are good...they say and do things that indicate that they arent in the least bit happy with you choosing NOT to be less than them.

With me, I love my homies...so if you're making positive moves towards a better you, I most CERTAINLY wont "hate" on that. I want all of my folks to be successes. But isnt it quite sad when others...or more specifically ONE...doesnt reciprocate those actions?

Its truly all good. I cant let them..or that...be a determining factor in whether or not I change me. I still curse, I still say Im not perfect..and still VERY MUCH SO acknowledge my past indiscretions in 'the life,'...but if your homie aint willing to give you a pat on the back b/c you're taking steps FORWARD instead of backward, then you dont NEED them in your life.

Holla

-------------------------------------------------

What is a Hater

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.

They are very negative people to say the least.

Nothing is ever good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters. . .

That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams with because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed... It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else,
He would have given you what He gave them! Right? You never know what people have gone through to get what they have... The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story...If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too! We've all got some
haters among us!Some people envy you because you can:

* Have a relationship with God * Light up a room when you walk in * Start your own business * Tell a man /woman to hit that curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing) * Raise your children without both parents being in the home *
Haters can't stand to see you happy * Haters will never want to see you succeed * Haters never want you to get the victory. Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by: * Knowing who you are and whoyour true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!) * Having a purpose to your life * Purpose does not mean having a job.

You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.

A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.

Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

* By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you "want" to be able to
say, "I've lived my life and fulfilled "my" dreams...Now I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, "Don't look at me...Look at Who is in charge of me..." Pass this to all of your family and friends who you know are not hating on you including the person who sent it to you.

If you don't get it back, maybe you called somebody out!

Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs.

Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters...................BUT most of all don't become a HATER!

Gay Whisper Song LMAO

2008-04-21T23:18:52Z

Now, yall know Jia is a hag to the high heavens....LMAO I LOVE this!!!

The Future of America

2008-04-20T11:31:44Z

It's really sad that this young man is speaking like this. I wont even say that someone is coercing him into speaking like this. I believe that he MIGHT be intelligent (eh...or maybe NOT so much) enough to speak like this on his own. Im pissed that he has access to a computer and webcam. Yet another example of parents allowing their kids to be babysat by technology. He's in BIG trouble.....

Barack ROCKS

2008-04-20T11:32:16Z

Danity Kane

2008-04-19T19:21:24Z

...Why the HELL didnt yall make SECRET PLACE a full length song?

WTF is wrong with yall?

Rambling About

2008-04-18T23:44:50Z

*I just woke up from a nap. Next week, I am going to the doctor to get some type of sleeping aid. I am really afraid of the ones that you buy in the store b/c of all the liver issues. And I'd be that ONE to get some problems from it...hopefully my sleeping patterns will change quite a bit before fall rolls around.

*I absolutely LOVE when people tell me what it is that I cant do and/or spend time hating from afar. Although Im going to miss the HELL out of Atlanta, I will say that its my own fault that I didnt progress more while I was here. But one thing that I have found in ADDITION to the progressive folks in Atlanta is that there are MANY people here (as with anywhere else) who are so complacent and dont want more...and when you strive to get more b/c your focus changes or just b/c you're tired of the okey doke, all of a sudden they get busy. Busy telling you what you wont do...busy telling you what you cant do...busy telling you how you shouldnt do. Amazing. My thing is this...if you want to settle for jobs that pay you meager wages, that tell you when its ok to eat, sleep, piss and shit, that give you specified times to eat your damn food...then by all means, do you! But please dont knock ME b/c I require a lil more than that. You keep taking bullshit...in about two years (or less), I'll be the one dispensing it to you non progressive people. *rollin' eyes

*To piggy back off the above, I will say this...when your friends dont support your efforts to make a change...like, if they are real quick to to have a pow wow about your past but when it comes to your FUTURE, they suddenly get a lil speechless (except to tell you what you WONT d0), then its time to throw up the deuces. I dont allow folks like that in my life at all. Some things just should've been handled a long time ago..but I was bullshitting. But never again. DUECE!

*Back to my nap...I had this weird dream. I dreamed that I was riding with a friend down this road and we kinda saw something that we shouldnt have. My friend was trying to back her car up and suddenly, one of the guys that was outside doing dirt shot into the car and shot me in the shoulder. I blanked out...but when I woke up, I was bandaged up and guess who in the FUCK was my 'kidnapper?' Damn FLAVOR FLAV yall! I was like WTF?? Hell naw! I dont know where this came from. Im still grossed out at the fact Flav gets to pick and choose..and that these girls willingly kiss this joker in the mouth. He just LOOKS like he needs a mint.

*In addition to the video being boring and so 'lazy' looking, I come across this photo thats SUPPOSE to be the new artwork for Usher's album. *sigh...something about that red "I" bothers me. Its like its suppose to be black like the word "stand." As usual, he looks 'cute' in the photo but Im still mad at the video. I still think that he was being super lazy in it...but I DO love the hell out of the song though! I really do!

*I think I might start doing album reviews on Youtube. I am just now listening to Danity Kane's CD b/c I just had a free moment to listen from start to finish. They have an interlude on there called Secret Place. WHY OH WHY didnt they make this a full song? WTF This song was the absolute BUSINESS! Say it aint...I DARE you!

*I really think that Im about to watch Why Did I Get Married...for the 200th time.

*One thing that blows my mind is the # of YOUNG men who approach me. I mean, it happens in reality but on Myspace, some of these guys are TOUGH! They refuse to give up! I know that its going to be ten times worse once I step back on campus...a BIG campus at that. I was looking at some of the campus profiles and you'd think that I was the only upperclassman. All these eager beaver ass freshman "Hey my name is Carlie and Im SO EXCITED to be a freshman..I love tennis and lacrosse and I am so STOKED about being a freshman...OH and Im 17 years old. See ya this fall." Im like...wtf? LMAO! I cant believe I will be 28...and surrounded by so many youngins. I hope to quickly find the 25+ crowd. Very quickly!

*I gotta get another desktop. Mine is super slow. I always use my laptop but when Im actually outside of class, Id like to start using a desktop again, really reserving the laptop for class. I cant stand shopping for computers. Im usually pretty simple in the things that I like. I JUST got this laptop in about February? I have to check the receipt but its a great one. I adore it...but I dont want the shit to burn out b/c I use it for 'play,' class and everything in between. Naw!

*My flat iron OFFICIALLY burned the fuck out. Its done! I plug it up...it doesnt work. I hit "test" and "reset" on my electrical outlet...no dice. *sigh* This flat iron has been with me through thick and thin. Ive had it since about 2005. Im going to miss her. I really am. I guess I'll splurge on an expensive one now...the Chi iron. Or maybe that new line called "RED" (I think...my beautician uses it). It seems to be a pretty good iron. Goodbye, my beautiful baby...you did my hair justice these past three years.

And I guess thats it....yall have a great weekend!

Going Too Far, Maybe?

2008-04-14T18:47:29Z

Post your thoughts....

R. Kelly...Try Again

2008-04-12T06:58:37Z

Or maybe not....

If this pissy negro doesn't look a HOT bleached MESS!!

Letter to Usher

2008-04-09T05:37:47Z

Dear Usher,

I hope you know that Im about to be late to work for your ass.

I was standing in the bathroom washing my face when I heard your new video coming on. Now, I love the song, Love In This Club. I REALLY do...even though I heard Polow da Don stole the beat from Mac Garage Band's PREMADE beats.

I digress...no good words for Polow b/c he gets on my nerves ANY damn way.

But back to you....

Ush, boo...Ive been a fan of yours since you were a little boy. I remember YEARS ago seeing you at Carowinds theme park back in North/South Carolina (yes..its in both states yall..depending on where you stand). You just came out and everybody was like "Who the fuck are you, asking do we want an autograph?" Who in the world woulda thought you'd blow up to be the big celebrity that you are!

Back in 2004, you released Confessions...and to DATE that is your BEST album yet! The album was damn near flawless (except that ANNOYING song, Take Your Hand...I mean, it wasnt DEPLORABLE but it just...didnt fit, IMO).

I STILL rock to that album (umm either via iPod or through Noey's CD...Noey..come get your shit! LOL!)

But thats not the purpose of this letter. My purpose is ask you two questions:

#1. Why did the video to this bomb ass song suck? The best part about this video was Keri Hilson. She damn near saved it for you...she looked freakin' amazing in the video and I can SEE why you'd wanna bone her in the damn club. Hell, she had me wanting to pull out the plastic for old times sake. *giggles* But most importantly....

#2. Why did you do those half ass dance moves in the vid? Ush, you mean to tell me that your ass has been MIA, having babies and marrying women with ready made families (Heeeey 'Meka) but you aint been staying up on your two step game?

Usher I was PISSED OFF when your dance sequence came on. I heard the music slow down, you walked to the middle of the floor..and my heart pounded. I jumped up and said "Oh this mufucka is about to get CRUNK!! GO USHER....he 'bout to FUCK UP THAT DAMN DANCE FLOOR!"

But then you started pumpin' your chest like you were having a mini heart attack...and then you leaned to the other side and did the same thing...and then.....

Nothing

WTF? You mean to tell me you had me waiting four years on your ass to do that lazy shit? The whole dance sequence looked like yall were practicing. I was SO waiting on Ashton Kutcher to come out and say "SIKE" with a bottle of Mo' in one hand and a blunt in the other. I sooo waited and hoped it was a joke. But it was for real....Usher, when you dance, I expect you to do some shit that I CANT do. I know that whole dance by heart now..and thats not good.

Another thing I wanted to ask you was....what the hell was the point of the ending of that video? I hope its a continuation of something you're going to put out next.

*sigh...either or, I love the song and Im glad youre back. Hopefully you'll let us see the lil tater tot soon. This album (and the rest of the dancing for the NEW videos) better be banging. Ive been pumping Confessions for YEARS now, waiting on your ass to come back so you better come hard.

Just know that no matter what....I'd still hit it!

Love,

Jia

For those of you who havent seen it, feel free to click HERE

Emotionally Drained

2008-04-07T12:14:57Z

I probably shouldn't even "care" this much....

I have about three names of three different people who were actually murdered...I cant find ANYTHING on them. Nothing...

And it saddens me b/c its almost like they don't matter enough to have any information posted about them.

Per the suggestion of a friend, I started contacting local sheriff officials to see if I could find certain pieces of information on victims.

Either I got the pure RUN around OR when I found a person who could help me, they'd tell me that they have little to no information.

You mean to tell me that someone gets fucking murdered...and you know NOTHING about ANYTHING? You cant even give me a BLOCK in which it happened.

And like the sap that I tend to be at times, I cried...b/c you know what? It saddens me that nobody cares enough to #1. have records/important information in order so that these public records are even WORTH accessing and #2. to at least give a damn about the victim's family/friends/children to want to have updates. I mean to just shrug it off...it bugs me.

I dunno, maybe Im getting to into this. Its always interesting to look things up about victims, read about their final days, what family has to say...but to try and give them a voice from beyond the grave...or give them a voice if theyre in a 'not so good' place b/c someone TOOK them from their state of normalcy....I just feel like Im failing. I really do....

People may think its "nothing" to post articles and things...but when you do something like that, you're taking on the responsibility to help people spread the word..and that takes a lot. Its an emotional investment, most definitely...and Im not gonna lie. Ive definitely had a day or two where I just backed away from the computer and said "You know what...I cant do this right now." And its only been UP for a few days!

Anyway, its just been hard..and Im venting. I feel like I keep getting thrown into brick walls and the police dont even give a fuck.

Im determined though. Just a little sad right now and needed to vent.

Thanks

That Boy

2008-04-05T19:04:41Z

I was going to do a video blog about this but Im not up for vlogging right now. So here goes.

I have said sooo many times that Im not the one to give dudes a second chance in the beginning. This is not to say that I dont believe in second chances at ALL but its just saying that...well, you have to be on your Ps and Qs with me from the door.

Nonetheless, a lot of my friends (and mom) said that I was wrong in just throwing up the deuces to ole boy...that I didnt give it time. I argued, fussed and fought but they all won out.

I eventually started talking to the dude again but Im pleased to announce that he's OUT THE DOOR AGAIN...for the final time.

Let me give you a little background on dude....he is a college grad and has a very good and professional job. Attractive (again if you see him, you MIGHT say to me "Oh I didnt know that was your type!"), smart and just enough of the corn factor to make me wanna holla. Well, anyway, I talked to him and let him know how I felt about the goings on of before (basically I felt that he was bullshitting on spending time and hanging out..how the hell am I suppose to get to know you if you have THAT much going on to where an hour is too much for you..I digress). He asked if we could meet somewhere, talk and hopefully get some of the air cleared. I told him that I couldnt meet at the time, I was busy..blah blah blah. Eventually he said "Well I will come to you...b/c we need to talk."

Fine...

So he comes over, he tells me that he's sorry that I feel as though he's not doing his part, that he'll do better, etc. I let him know that I dont deal well with lines, that I dont have time for BS. If you are that busy, say so. I wont be hurt. One thing people have to understand about me is relationships are great. I would love to be romantically involved with someone. However, I dont build my life, personality or emotions around a man. Either you're here or youre not. But dont expect me to just go psycho-nut-sane over your ass b/c YOU want to act simple.

Everything was good..until about Sunday. Sunday night we were suppose to catch a movie. Didnt happen. He got caught up in work (and if you knew what he did, you'd say "Oh yea..they DO work 7 days a week) and couldnt make it. We changed it to Monday..same deal....Tuesday and Wednesday roll around and this mufucka is still talking about "Lets shoot for ANOTHER day."

I just said forget it. Obviously (right now) I have a little more time in my life than you. Obviously your time is hella limited. But let me also remind you of something I like to call "Famous Last Words." When he and I first started kicking it and were going over the formalities of what we liked and didnt, how we are and arent, one of the things that he said (and Im quoting damn near verbatim b/c I DO NOT forget conversations): "You're a very special girl...you're smart, you're funny as hell, beautiful...I definitely could see myself moving forward with a girl like you. So with that being said, I would like to let you know that I do work...but for you...I always make time for the things I want. Always." And I responded with "Is that right?" And he said "Yes...Id be stupid not to for you."

Now, I dunno what happened between THAT conversation and the middle of this week BUT I politely reminded his ass of those FAMOUS LAST WORDS right before I said "It was fun while it lasted."

I dont fault people for being busy b/c thats a part of life. We ALL have shit going on that could prevent us from fulfilling certain obligations with other people. However, you knew long before you started kicking it with me that you were busy with work, yet you continuously made dates/promises that you didnt keep. Im super good on that. One thing that my dad taught me (and DRILLED into my head) is that I do not have to sit by the phone waiting on ANY man. So I dont. Its just not in me..like I said, relationships are the business but relationships with headaches and bullshit arent. I dont expect anyone to totally change their lives for me...but dont open your mouth with stuff that you know you cant provide.

Im done though...I guess I will just focus on working (my real job), my photography, PNE and school. Whatever happens in between time just does....

Neglecting My Duties

2008-04-05T16:19:00Z

I havent been on my "personal" blog in a few days. I almost forgot that I had it until someone said "Uh, when are we getting some updates on your personal blog, man?" LOL! Too funny....

Anyway, as you guys know, I have been working ridiculously hard on www.projectnewera.com. Even if Im not actually posting a story, Im reading stories regarding different cases that have happened that I just seemed to miss.

A couple things I must clear up (one noted with the * is the most recent) about the site are as follows:

-PNE is not a 'non profit organization'...at least not yet. I would have to really take some time to study some of the organizations whose missions align with that of PNE and right now, I do NOT have the time to do that, PLUS work, PLUS run that site, PLUS school, PLUS photography. I just do not have the time. So I figured that b/c I am not working with many hours in my day, the best way for me to at least get the ball rolling was by creating a website where people who cared can subscribe and read at their leisure. Since Im going to be hitting the summer with 18 hours and still going to work FT, the site is all there will be right now. This is not to say that it wont soon become an NPO but as of right now, its not my main priority.

-*There were two people who sent me a message today on Myspace. One person asked me would/could I cover issues in the hispanic community. Very polite in his/her questioning. However, the note right after his/hers was one that said "Why the fuck dont you care about what goes on in the hispanic community? Hispanics are practically black too and you're ignoring our ass. You need to switch your site up cuz the way you doing it now is unfair and very racist."

I simply deleted the note b/c you lost me on the third word. Dont curse at me. But for those who question my desire to make PNE a site dealing with black issues, let me tell you this (in case you didnt know)...I AM a black woman. Imagine being "me" and growing up not knowing about cases regarding black people, always feeling like "I must not matter" b/c people like me are never shown in a positive light on TV. Imagine hearing about someone having a heart wrenching story that was not covered on the news, only to find out about years later through your OWN research..thinking to yourself "Why in the HELL didnt I hear about that?" I sympathize with ANY group of people who loses a loved one. However, lets call a spade a spade...black people do not get POSITIVE coverage in news media. We're always called the 'gang bangers, the rappers, the hip hop stars (when we're clearly singing), the drug abusers/pushers," etc. I could go on and on. Its time that the world knows that black people are senselessly murdered (and NOT ALWAYS at the hands of another black), black people DO go missing (and not b/c they were involved in a drug deal gone wrong) and that we do have pending cases in the court system that are not working in our favor.

Further, if anybody feels strongly about the group of people in which they belong...rather than sitting back and waiting on ME to write about you, why dont YOU get off your ass and write about you?

Another thing I want to point out is....you dont see skinny chicks going in Lane Bryant, asking the store managers "Why dont yall sell shit in my size" do you? Instead, they carry their butts on over to other stores that cater to whatever it is that they want. And vice versa. You've never seen a big girl go into 5-7-9 talking about "They never have anything in here for us." NO..they go to where ever it is that caters to their size and keep it pushing.

So why come to a site that states in its mission who their primary focus is and try to tell THEM to get with the program?

The way I see it is...Im never going to please everybody regarding this site. Im always going to upset someone. And while this is not my objective, it is what it is. PNE is something that I feel passionate about...therefore, Im taking my passion and making it a 'visual' for you. To those who feel that Im leaving something out..if you feel that there is a gap that Im not covering, by all means, register a domain for yourself and make it happen. You're obviously thinking as I did..with frustration and the like. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Hope you guys have a good weekend.

Banners for Project New Era

2008-04-01T11:07:28Z

Hey guys!

I am very, VERY happy with the response that Project New Era has received! I'm happy that it has (so far) been pretty well received and hope that you guys will continue to support it. I may not always get RIGHT to things that I have planned BUT I do get to them...thats what makes the difference, IMO.

With that being said, I am looking (of course) to promote the site as much as I can. So once again Im asking that if you know how to make banners and would like to contribute to the site/growth of PNE, please feel free to email me at projectnewera@gmail.com. I am willing to accept all creative ideas...but please bear in mind that the "slogan" for the website is "...because we DO matter" and I would like that to be included with the actual brand (with the same look...dots, emphasis on "do" etc.).

I would really like to take the time to thank those of you who have sent in links to various stories. In addition to the things that you guys are sending, I am finding a LOT of things that can truly take a toll on your emotions. Its so much that you wish YOU could've done to help them before their passing or before they became "missing," but when you realize that there really wasnt much you could do......

Nonetheless, the email address again is projectnewera@gmail.com. Be as fun and creative as you can!

I appreciate ya in advance!

Sand in the Booty Crack

2008-03-31T02:17:06Z

I dunno if this is real or not...in the beginning, I may have been inclined to think so. However, towards the end, it got a little extra...so I wonder.